Fearless- Book Review

“Some books leave us free and some books make us free.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I agree with Mr. Emerson.  Fearless by Max Lucado is a book that can make us free if we will let it.  Of course, it’s not the book, but the message and the applying of that message that will free us.  Fear is a natural human emotion, but just like selfishness or greed, fear must be reigned in and controlled, or it may come to control us, or at the very least, hold us back from our purpose in life.

I’ve never read a Lucado book I didn’t love and this one is no different.  Fearless is a message of hope and courage, and much of it is straight from the pages of Scripture.  The one statement Jesus made more than any other recorded in the Bible is “Do not be afraid”.  This is amazing to me.  He takes our fears seriously, and He knew and knows that fear would be and is a real and debilitating force in many of our lives.

In this book, Max covers 13 different fears, from fear of not mattering to fear of not protecting my kids to fear that God is not real.  I personally identified with every single one of the fears he mentions and was filled with hope and assurance that each one can be combatted with prayer and faith in my loving Heavenly Father.  I was challenged to trust what I know is true, pray like never before and lean into others when I need help.

Here is just a small taste of some of the gems found this book…

~”When fear shapes our lives, safety becomes our god.  Can the safety lover do anything great?”

~”Nothing fosters fear like an ignorance of mercy.”

~”Prayer is the saucer into which parental fears are poured to cool.”

~”Storms are not an option, but fear is.”

~”When Christ is great, our fears are not.”

I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone, whether you willingly admit fear is an unwanted part of your life or not.  You will be blessed and encouraged and may learn how to help those of us who struggle with the very real weight of fear on a daily basis.  This is an easy read and will be worth your time.  You may even want to read it a few times.

Thank you, Max, for another superb book.

Happy reading, 

Miriam

Is Your Religion Pure?

James 1:27- Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world

I have enough trouble coping with the schedules of my kids, a crazy dog and a preacher husband....there are piano lessons, Walmart trips, ballgames, school stuff, church activities and more...and without the help of my husband and the occasional rescue girlfriend who can help with a pickup or drop off...I would struggle...BIG.TIME.

So I can't imagine what the single parent goes through. Think about it...kid sick, flat tire, air-conditioning out, lawn needs to be mowed....whose shoulders does that fall on???

Nearly 1 in 4 children are being raised in single parent homes. Recently, I asked my single parent Facebook friends to respond with their greatest fears or worries in raising their kids.

Their responses were as follows:

* responded that they were worried about the lack of relationship between the father and his children.

* responded that they were concerned for the safety of their children when with the other parent.

* responded that they were worried that they would not be able to provide basic needs for their kids.

* responded fear about CPS stepping in at any time as a concern.

* confessed worrying about whether or not they were enough as a mom for her sons.

* was concerned that her sons would not know what it was like to be real man, a father in the future.

* responded with anxiousness about whether they would fulfill God's destiny, serve Jesus

* said they were worried they couldn't be everything their child needed them to be


In a world were 25% of homes are led by single parents, I wonder if there isn't something different that we could be doing to help meet some of these needs. And before someone says, well the root of this is unstable families, divorce, weak marriages...let me assure you, that after years of counseling to help preserve God's institute of Biblical marriage, I know that single parent homes are inevitable. There are so many reasons there are single parent homes...let me give you a few:

- infidelity, in all ways...physically, emotionally, mentally
- pornography (see above)
- abuse, in all ways
-unplanned pregnancy
-abandonment
-free will and choice
-disagreements
-death of a spouse

And I can assure you that most couples that give up on their marriage, had one person in that marriage that wanted to fight harder to save it, wanted it to make it, wanted restoration. But we all know, if both parties aren't willing to give it everything, restoration is impossible.

So this is a judgement free zone...because this isn't really about what the single parents are doing or causes for divorce.

It's about what we can do to help them do what they do.

I'm convinced that these hardworking parents could use someone to come along side and help in some tangible ways...and maybe if we start dialoging we can become part of a solution, a partnership with parents who are doing their best to provide in all ways for their kids...just like us. It's kind of our common denominator.

God's Word commands the church (Christians...doesn't matter your church affiliation...only your heart affiliation) to care for the widows and the fatherless....and I can't imagine that doesn't include the widowers and the motherless (James 1:27). God knew there would be situations where there would be single parents. He also made a way for their needs....all their needs...to be met. So what are we doing? What are we doing to meet the needs of the fatherless and the motherless children that we know? It's our responsibility. It's a command. If we don't do it, we are disobedient. We sin.

So after some research, a list has been compiled of some practical ways you and I can help the single parents we know (no doubt this list is not exhaustive, so if you want to add to it, leave a comment and let us know what you're doing or if you're a single parent and someone has done something that has helped...let us know!)

1. Pray for God to make you sensitive and unselfishly discerning of the needs of single parents. (Since He commands this...if we are sincere in our desire...He will show us...because He doesn't withhold himself from those who diligently seek Him)

2. Obey His command (here's a few ideas, just in case you need them)

* If you provide a service, let the parent know. Many times single parents feel lost when emergency situations arise, so if they have a list of reliable mechanics, air-conditioning repair services, pediatricians, nurse friends...then its less stressful for them. They aren't expecting a free handout (although...if you feel led, feel free), just less stress in finding someone trustworthy

*Provide a list of your favorite babysitters.

*Pay for their child to do something extracurricular. Maybe a kids camp, or an Upwards program, or an art camp, or piano lessons. While a single parent might never ask for a handout, their kids sometimes don't have the advantage of extra things because of finances.

*If you're an older person, partner with the single parent as an encourager, a mentor, a cheer leader. Invest in the hardworking adult.

*Send them a birthday card, a valentine, a Christmas gift. Chances are until their kids get older, someone will need to step it up if the parent will be remembered.

*Be a good role model....one of the chief concerns was from mothers who fear their sons will be lacking because of the lack of a father figure in the home. Could you spare some time or share some time with the son of a single mom? Some of these connections can happen with your own kids, just including another.

*Model good marriages. Let's face it...these marriages ended for a reason (some even death) and if we are going to manage to hold marriage in high esteem, we need to model good and godly marriages.

*Be excited about serving the Lord and others. Don't complain. If you serve them, don't act like its a bother. Serve with joy. Nobody likes a begrudging gift giver.

*Provide anonymously for school supplies, new school clothes, shoes, backpacks...another way those who have already raised their children can help. You remember how expensive it is to raise and provide for kids!

*Be a safe place for your single parents families to come to in a time of emergency. Let's face it, domestic violence, natural disasters, lightning storms and power outages happen. Sometimes these things are overwhelming and knowing you have a friend to go to is not only helpful to the children involved, but to the parent who may also be feeling anxious.

*Help when more than one of their children needs to be in one or more places.... transportation to and from activities can get hairy and sometimes a carpool situation can be a lifesaver.

*If the parent is widowed, provide a break, a few hours for him or her to run errands, change the oil, get nails done or TAKE A NAP.

*Encourage, high five and pray for these families. Can't hurt, can it?

Let's get behind these families and remember that God has a plan for them just like He does for your family. Sometimes we get so inwardly focused that we do nothing or we forget part of His plan doesn't include the welfare system or government to take care of them....but it does include the church caring for them. Let's get with His program and watch His plan unfold. Can you do something???

That's Their Story,

Single Parents from around the World

You're Not the Best

You can't be the best, or even good, at everything.

There I said it.

Actually, I've said this to my kids a hundred times...like when Tuck lost a competitive game in Upwards basketball. Or when straight A's didn't come home on the report card after hours of studying and making notecards and memorizing clever rhymes to help them remember the facts. Over and over, I remind my two kids that we can work hard, we can do our best but in the end, someone can still beat us, do better than us, win the game or even out score us on a test. Chances are slim that I am raising the best of the best of the best in everything in the world. 

So we take our losses, our failures or attempts and we talk about it. Did they try their best? Did they work hard? Did they study or practice or rehearse? And if the answer is yes...I give them $5, a participation award, a certificate of completion, an ice cream a high five or a fist pump or a pat on the back and we move forward. We do not dwell in defeat. I want them to know that although man emphasizes the perfect score or the winning team, God emphasizes the attempt, the work ethic, the try. He is even glorified through our losses when we have done our part...our best. So we don't dwell in defeat. What a good lesson, right?

But wait for it....

Ladies....and random man that might be reading this...

What about us? Do you ever feel like you have to be the best at everything? Do you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies? Do you feel defeated when your work doesn't measure up or you don't get the best results? Do you get irritated when someone doesn't recognize your effort?

I remember shortly after Bruce and I had married I wanted to take violin lessons. A lady in our church had an extra violin and knew a teacher who had an opening and so I borrowed the violin and made the call to set up lessons. I practiced....twice daily.. for three weeks. I remember coming home from my lesson that third week and setting up in the spare bedroom of our duplex to practice. And I remember Bruce instantly getting up from the couch to close the door to the bedroom so he wouldn't have to listen (ouch...lol...I'm not bitter). And after practice....he asked me if I really thought I could learn this instrument. I confessed it was much harder than I had anticipate...and I had not yet been able to play a song that you could determine the title. It really was awful. My hands hurt from the strings, my ears hurt from the noise and I was offending the neighbors (I'm sure). So the next day, I made the call and quit lessons and quite honestly, have never regretted it. See, I can't be the best at everything...or even good at everything. And that's no excuse to quit...but honestly...it was terrible.

It can be something as small as trying a new recipe, or keeping house. Do we compete with others or ourselves and get downtrodden in the defeat if the house doesn't look just so southern living, or the cake falls? Or in the bigger things...like marriage and parenting do we expect perfection? Do we dwell in defeat when our kids disobey or are disrespectful, do we beat ourselves up when we have an argument with our husband or the kids? The thing is, while these things are disheartening and many times require us to evaluate the condition of our heart, we have to evaluate our efforts...Did I do my part? Did I attempt to do things right, did I work hard to make it happen? Did I even try?

And if the answer is "yes"....then just like with our kids, we do not need to dwell in defeat. We need to get up, dust the dirt off and continue doing our part. Yes, God is a miracle worker and it's not necessary for us to be doing anything for His will to be accomplished, but walking by faith is an action, and we should be willing to do our part, to be obedient to the things He has called us to do. 

But what if our answer is "no."..what if we aren't doing our part? What if we're being lazy, or 

we're not preparing, or we're not putting forth an effort? What if we are just flying by the seat of our pants and letting the chips fall where they may? Well, get it in gear and do what you need to:

1. Confess your attitude to the Lord. 

2. Ask Him to help you discern the things that you need to be doing better.

*Let go of the things that He doesn't impress on your heart. This isn't an excuse to not do other things, it's a freedom to give your best to the things that matter the most. It's also not an excuse to avoid serving others, loving your neighbor or ministering to the widows and orphans. It's the freedom to discern God's prodding for your life. Don't be lazy, self-absorbed or selfish with your service. Answer His call when He tugs on your heart.

3. Stay focused, work toward your goals everyday.

4. Praise Him when things go right.

5. Find a way to glorify Him when things go wrong. 

And give yourself a high five, pat on the back or fist pump or a good cup o' joe....because progress is progress. God's Word says, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." It also says, we should "redeem the time because the days we are living in are evil." How we spend our efforts is important. We need to teach our kids to do the hard things, to work hard and then leave the rest to the Lord....and occasionally we need to remind ourselves too.

That's the story I tell,

Gina  

Feed Your Family

During the summertime my family eats way better than they do in the school year. I'm just keeping it real. After I've taught school all day, done laundry and taken care of other house and church and family stuff sometimes there's not much more left in me than a bowl of cereal or a drive through burger. So during the summer time, we typically eat from the garden, enjoy fresh veggies and grill out..a lot. I love trying new recipes and just enjoying the time preparing foods that I hope my family will enjoy.

Here are a few new recipes that we have tried recently. Believe me when I say they are easy. Also, believe me when I say they are yummy. And in full disclosure...believe me when I say they may not fully comply with your summer dietary restrictions. 

This fruit salad is a recipe from the pioneer woman, Ree Drummond. She is one of my favorites. Her recipes tend to be easy and most of the time I can pronounce all the ingredients. My family loved the fruits involved in this summertime salad and the vanilla/orange syrup was easy to make and added a creamcicle/dreamcicle kind of flavor. On a side note, I didn't have a vanilla bean so I used regular ol' vanilla from my pantry. I added 2 teaspoons and it was perfecto. It gets even better as it sits.

Second, these mouth watering potatoes were the perfect side dish to the steaks Bruce grilled last weekend. Oh my word. Fresh potatoes are one of my favorite things about having a garden...and here I used about 4 large golden russet potatoes. There are still left overs in my fridge and it's kind of making me want to go warm up a bowl right now... but it's only 9:30am so that's kind of early...who am I kidding???...it's really never too early for all this goodness...You'll want to allow for a full hour to cook them through all the way. Super Yummy and a thumbs up all around from the family. 

And lastly, THE PEA PICKIN' CAKE ....seriously a yummy summertime dessert. With layers of fluffy whipped cream and pineapple frosting ....the cake screams tropical getaway. So if you're unable to visit one of your favorite tropical destinations this summer...make this cake, set up a lawn chair outside, grab your sunglasses and enjoy a snack because this dessert will take you away!

Feeding my family is not actually all about the food. It's about the time we spend together preparing it, the time we spend around the table eating and conversing with each other and the time we spend making memories. So many of my memories of childhood are from favorite foods and fellowships my mom would host in our home. She was an incredible hostess, always making the most out of what she had. I learned much about hospitality and caring for our neighbors while working along side her in the kitchen. So feed your family well, because some of the memories they take with them and eventually pass along to their own family one day, may just happen in your kitchen.

That's my story....

Gina

You are Loved...Captivating- A Book Review

“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.“ Ralph Waldo Emerson

So reviewing books sounds like fun, but how in the world to pick which one?!  So many books, so little time….how true. 

 Ten people can read the same book on the same day and close the last chapter with ten different “take aways”, depending on life stages and viewpoints.  So this review is just my humble little opinion and perspective, based on where I am in life and how my mind works.  I have read thousands of books, but only think of a few as “life changers”.

I read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge about 10 years ago.  It rocked my world then.  I couldn’t recommend it fast or furious enough.  I bought copies and gave them to friends.  It is in the “life changer” category without a doubt.  I read it again last year and it was every bit as powerful the second time.  I had my then 16 year old daughter read it and it truly changed her life as well. 

It is a book about how my Creator is passionate about me, how He made me a woman on purpose and with a purpose.  It is stunningly well written.  It is a breath of fresh air I didn’t even know I needed.  It is co-authored by a husband and wife team, both who have written best sellers before this one.  The male/female perspectives make if quite unique.  They both share vulnerably, Stasi sharing some of her own story and struggle with truly believing God loves her and always has.  They weave scripture in with daily proof and assurances of God’s personal love and affection for me.

I have heard that God loves me my entire life, but after reading this book, I was convinced.  For the first time, I was able to understand God as the Hero of my heart and the Lover of my soul.  God spoke directly to my heart through Stasi.   I closed the book feeling treasured, beautiful and yes, captivating. 

I highly recommend Captivating to men, women and teen girls.

(P.S.  Ok, so no book is pure perfection, right?  The authors must truly be movie lovers because the book is full of movie examples and mentions, many of which I would not watch, let my kids watch, or recommend.  That’s just me, and it didn’t really take away from the message, just had me scratching my head a time or two.)

Happy reading,

Miriam

The LulaRoe Scandal

I am a lazy fashionista...which I think makes me the opposite of a fashionista...but whatever. I've carried extra weight since way before I could blame it on having children and to be honest, shopping in stores or at the mall over the last few years has been almost non-existent. I just really can find 100 things I would rather do instead. In fact, my most frequent answer when someone asks me where I bought such and such shirt or dress is....wait for it...Amazon. Really??? yes....really.

Until earlier this year...when I started seeing these LulaRoe posts all over Facebook. Have you heard about these buttery soft leggings and blouses and dresses??? I'm pretty sure I was late coming to the party. So a friend was having a Facebook party and invited me...and then I got connected with a dealer consultant that was a sweet as she could be....and then a friend from church started connecting me with people that were having sales...and then I saw a popup party on Davis Street and whipped my car around in such a fashion that would have made the Dukes of Hazard honk their Dixie horn. Packages were arriving at an alarming rate....one or two a week for several weeks in a row...and since I've never been much of a clothes shopper....Bruce was supportive...yet surprised by my compulsive behavior.

It was one night about 8 o'clock that I realized things had gotten out of hand....I was watching a 2 hour live feed on leggings. LEGGINGS!!!! What in the world!!! And although there's nothing wrong specifically with shopping or watching TV or a buttery soft legging extravaganza...it hit me.....I was out of control.

There had been signs...conversations at school filled with talk of these leggings...the conversion of friends who had joined the legging lifestyle...the weeks that went by waiting for the mail lady to deliver the next order, my denial of the scandal of the ripped Lularoe leggings and friends sending me  memes mocking my apparent obsession.

But that night...on the couch with my phone in hand, eating up our unlimited data plan, I was struck with the thought of all I could be doing. The rest I could be giving my body, the planning I could be doing for the next day, the conversations I could be having with my family, the books I could be reading...and the fellowship I was not engaging in because of this crazy legging obsession....sheesh!

And maybe it's not leggings for you..but we all have things we are obsessed with...even good things...things that occupy more time than we ever thought they would or that we would allow. Things that are hard to step away from because something in us can justify our reasons for the obsession. But it's clear, when we step away for just a minute...we have a problem. No, we might not need professional counseling (yet) but we know in our hearts that God isn't pleased with our time management system.

Recently I reacquainted myself with this verse in Ephesians 5:16: Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir when I say the world is evil...and even though there are a thousand things on our to do lists, we are to make the most of every moment. In fact, this whole passage in Ephesians calls us to be wise and pay attention so we know how to live. We are to invest our time in holy things...things that build up, things that last, eternal things, Biblical things...Why??? Because the world we live in screams for us to invest in temporal, short lived success and enjoyment. The world/enemy wants us to be fully invested in anything that doesn't draw us closer to Christ. Think about the things that take up your time....family, sports, work, church, friends, fitness, music....any of these things can be used to satisfy us temporarily. Even good things. These things will fade instantaneously when Christ returns...if not before.

Listen, I love LulaRoe....and my leggings....so buttery and soft...but the enemy can use something as innocent as leggings to distract us from the most important things. The better things...the redeeming things. So buy your leggings, shop your malls....but in the end, keep things prioritized..don't let your leggings run your life! Redeem the time.

That's the story I tell....

Gina

Disclaimer- No LulaRoe Leggings were harmed in the writing of this story. 

Do you care?

I thought raising little ones was hard. Like the terrible twos...the feisty fours and the sassy sevens...

And I am sure in that season...it was. Because each moment of child rearing has it's own challenges.

But now, I'm knee deep in the teen years and we're facing proms and boys and driving and college prep tests and I am beginning to realize my time is becoming more limited and my influence less loud. And I find myself praying...and asking God for more chances to do this parenting thing right.

I'm not alone. I work with women who are sending kids off to college, I'm friends with moms with kids of all ages and I hear it over and over again and again.... I don't know if I am doing this right. Yep...that's the long and short of it. By the time they hit 18 months...we are already questioning and wondering and doubting.

Or we aren't. Because let's be real....there are some parents that just don't have the same concerns as you. Like the parents who lets their kid eat sugar cereals for breakfast, or lets their kids stay up too late or who doesn't use the booster seat until their kid turns 8. They just don't care, do they???

I'M KIDDING!!! Of course parents, or at least most of us, care. I think that's what makes us fearful that the job we are doing is not good enough. And let's be honest...there are some days it just isn't. There are days when my patience runs thin, my go getter is gone, and I don't want to make one more trip to take someone to Walmart. There are days I'm frustrated and empty and tired.

And that's where I am learning to teach my kids about God's amazing grace. That grace that gives mom a second chance at responding, that grace that reminds us all that sometimes there's more than one way to skin a cat, that grace that hugs instead of reacts, says it's "ok" when I know it really isn't and as they learn to give grace to mom, they are actually learning one of the best attributes I could teach them....and even though these moments are humbling and embarrassing, I am learning too. I'm learning to receive grace. I am learning to ask forgiveness and I am learning to be accountable for my actions. Things I need to be teaching them also.

So these teenage years...although full of learning and discipling and mentoring and parenting...there's a bunch of stuff I haven't figured out yet. Stuff that will require extended grace from my kids to me. Because if we care we take real life situations and grab the teaching points and biblical principles and weave them into our conversations and dinner discussions. Because if we care, we admit when the enemy attacks us, and we share with our kids how we can do better next time. Because if we care, we ask for forgiveness and because if we care, we model forgiveness, grace, discipline and lots of prayer. This is a biblical principle outlined, in the Bible, in the book of Deuteronomy....imagine that...God didn't leave us helpless. Our Good Father God, gave us the basics for binding these truths to our children's hearts. (Deuteronomy 6)

That's my story today....
Gina