There I said it.
Actually, I've said this to my kids a hundred times...like when Tuck lost a competitive game in Upwards basketball. Or when straight A's didn't come home on the report card after hours of studying and making notecards and memorizing clever rhymes to help them remember the facts. Over and over, I remind my two kids that we can work hard, we can do our best but in the end, someone can still beat us, do better than us, win the game or even out score us on a test. Chances are slim that I am raising the best of the best of the best in everything in the world.
So we take our losses, our failures or attempts and we talk about it. Did they try their best? Did they work hard? Did they study or practice or rehearse? And if the answer is yes...I give them $5, a participation award, a certificate of completion, an ice cream a high five or a fist pump or a pat on the back and we move forward. We do not dwell in defeat. I want them to know that although man emphasizes the perfect score or the winning team, God emphasizes the attempt, the work ethic, the try. He is even glorified through our losses when we have done our part...our best. So we don't dwell in defeat. What a good lesson, right?
But wait for it....
Ladies....and random man that might be reading this...
What about us? Do you ever feel like you have to be the best at everything? Do you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies? Do you feel defeated when your work doesn't measure up or you don't get the best results? Do you get irritated when someone doesn't recognize your effort?
I remember shortly after Bruce and I had married I wanted to take violin lessons. A lady in our church had an extra violin and knew a teacher who had an opening and so I borrowed the violin and made the call to set up lessons. I practiced....twice daily.. for three weeks. I remember coming home from my lesson that third week and setting up in the spare bedroom of our duplex to practice. And I remember Bruce instantly getting up from the couch to close the door to the bedroom so he wouldn't have to listen (ouch...lol...I'm not bitter). And after practice....he asked me if I really thought I could learn this instrument. I confessed it was much harder than I had anticipate...and I had not yet been able to play a song that you could determine the title. It really was awful. My hands hurt from the strings, my ears hurt from the noise and I was offending the neighbors (I'm sure). So the next day, I made the call and quit lessons and quite honestly, have never regretted it. See, I can't be the best at everything...or even good at everything. And that's no excuse to quit...but honestly...it was terrible.
It can be something as small as trying a new recipe, or keeping house. Do we compete with others or ourselves and get downtrodden in the defeat if the house doesn't look just so southern living, or the cake falls? Or in the bigger things...like marriage and parenting do we expect perfection? Do we dwell in defeat when our kids disobey or are disrespectful, do we beat ourselves up when we have an argument with our husband or the kids? The thing is, while these things are disheartening and many times require us to evaluate the condition of our heart, we have to evaluate our efforts...Did I do my part? Did I attempt to do things right, did I work hard to make it happen? Did I even try?
And if the answer is "yes"....then just like with our kids, we do not need to dwell in defeat. We need to get up, dust the dirt off and continue doing our part. Yes, God is a miracle worker and it's not necessary for us to be doing anything for His will to be accomplished, but walking by faith is an action, and we should be willing to do our part, to be obedient to the things He has called us to do.
But what if our answer is "no."..what if we aren't doing our part? What if we're being lazy, or
we're not preparing, or we're not putting forth an effort? What if we are just flying by the seat of our pants and letting the chips fall where they may? Well, get it in gear and do what you need to:
1. Confess your attitude to the Lord.
2. Ask Him to help you discern the things that you need to be doing better.
*Let go of the things that He doesn't impress on your heart. This isn't an excuse to not do other things, it's a freedom to give your best to the things that matter the most. It's also not an excuse to avoid serving others, loving your neighbor or ministering to the widows and orphans. It's the freedom to discern God's prodding for your life. Don't be lazy, self-absorbed or selfish with your service. Answer His call when He tugs on your heart.
3. Stay focused, work toward your goals everyday.
4. Praise Him when things go right.
5. Find a way to glorify Him when things go wrong.
And give yourself a high five, pat on the back or fist pump or a good cup o' joe....because progress is progress. God's Word says, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." It also says, we should "redeem the time because the days we are living in are evil." How we spend our efforts is important. We need to teach our kids to do the hard things, to work hard and then leave the rest to the Lord....and occasionally we need to remind ourselves too.
That's the story I tell,
Gina
