First off, I'm pretty sure the title alone is enough to spur some conversation, but let me tell you, when this topic hit me in the face like a baseball flying through the air on it's way to a homerun, I figured you deserved the same wake up call as me...and I am all about the sharing.
So, some backstory...I have been working on some continuing education (CEU's) classes this summer, just brushing up on my teaching skills. Most of these I can do at home and so in the afternoons, the kids are pretty used to seeing me with ear buds and computer and think it's funny that I have to do summer school. They're hilarious.
I teach at a Christian school. We use Christian curriculum. We teach the Bible. No apologies. No floundering around those facts. So obviously, some of my CEU's are going to be geared around what God's word says. And boy....on this particular day...did they!
I was sitting in my cute comfy chair, listening to the lecture, minding my own business, when the speaker, who has taught for more than 40 years, said, "Eli's sons are burning in hell today because his father valued them more than he valued what God said." And there you have it. I hit the rewind key on my computer 4 times. I had heard right and I wanted to know more about this.
Now, I had heard this story many times before...but never put exactly like she put it, so I was interested to read the passage again in the Bible. Check it out at Bible Gateway . Ok....are you still with me? Y'all...this passage was so sad to me. Here Eli, pansied out of disciplining his sons because he valued them more than he valued God's instruction. So even though Eli talked to his sons about their sin, he did nothing to discipline or train them to do the right things. I wanted to rip through the pages of scripture and beg Eli to get his act together....to wake up and smell the coffee. He was playing around with God's people and God's house. His sons were out of control, rebellious, permiscuous, arrogant, disrespectful and the list could just go on and on and ....wait a minute.
Doesn't that pretty much describe kids today? Oh maybe your kids aren't going into the church and taking things that don't belong to them...but stealing doesn't have to be just stuff...it can be time or talents. And maybe your kids aren't promiscuous, but you allow them to watch all kinds of vulgarity and sexual sins on TV and movies and you don't monitor their social media accounts. Maybe what was cute at 2 isn't as cute at 14, when they are rolling their eyes, placing their hands on their hips and talking back. And what are we doing....as parents? Are we sitting idly by and telling them "no-no", "Johnny, you know you shouldn't do that", "don't do that", "you're gonna regret that", "lol I did that when I was your age...and worse"? and worse yet...parents blaming others for their child's behavior or attitudes. I have seen all of this play out before my eyes at one time or another.
So where did Eli go wrong? How did sons wind up spending eternity in hell?
1. Eli's sons did not know the Lord. Of course they knew about the Lord, but there was no real relationship with the Lord. Evidently, going through the motions was enough for Eli to believe he had done his job. (I Samuel 2:12)
2. And as the story goes, although they knew how to do various responsibilities in the church (tabernacle), they treated it with disrespect because there was no reverence for holy things. Eli even knew of this behavior and did nothing but verbally speak with them. (I Samuel 2:13-20)
3. Eli "kept" hearing from people about what his sons were doing. This implies that he was not ignorant to their terrible behavior but had been told time and time again. (I Samuel 2:22)
4. Eli had raised sons who would not listen to their father. (I Samuel 2:25)
5. Eli's words were not enough....disciplinary action was never given and as a result Eli was not able to rejoice over his children. Instead, he found himself in grave misery over the eventual loss of not only his sons, but of the blessings that God had intended over the house of Isreal during his lifetime. (I Samuel 2:26)
So what can we do differently as parents, to ensure our kids don't go to hell. Nothing and everything....Your kids have a free will and they will eventually choose for themselves...but God gives us clear instruction...black and white...on some things we can do that clearly contradict the methods that Eli used....take a closer look:
1. Relationship Relationship Relationship. During the early years of our children's lives a relationship is about knowing about God. We learn the stories of the Bible and we learn about miracles and prophets and all the good stories in His Word. But as our kids get older, it has to be more about a relationship...the saving relationship from our sins and then a growing relationship with our Savior. Learning to walk with Him, learning what He desires and valuing His directions from His Word...those are the things that we need to bind in our child's heart. You model and teach this by your own behavior.
2. We need to train our children to reverence the things that God says are holy. He calls us to holiness (I Peter 1:15), He is holy (Leviticus 11:45), our thoughts are to be holy (Phil 4:4-9), our worship is to be holy (Psalm 96:9)...And the list could go on and on and on....And I am asking myself along with you....what are we teaching our kids about holiness and reverence to God????
3. Eli ignored the warnings of those around him (I Sam 2:22)... God has placed people in my life that I've had this conversation with: "I want to know if you see or hear my kids doing something that is destructive to their life or the lives of those around them." Will it be hard to hear it?....YES. Will I be embarrassed?....MAYBE. Will I want to strangle my kids?....PROBABLY (if it's true). What I am saying here is...you need a few people around you that you're willing to listen to even if the news isn't good. You need the people around you who will tell you if they see your kids being unkind, rude, rebellious, promiscuous or destructive. And if you hear from those trustworthy souls....you need to take care of it. Ask your kids questions and then DO something about it if it's true. That's the training part...the discipline part. You've got to get in the game! Proverbs 27:6
4. Eli's problems started before this story. Eli had raised two sons who didn't listen to their father...and that didn't start at the tabernacle or the promiscuous behavior. It probably started much younger...because these were established habits. It might be something cute when they are little ...like a "talk to the hand" kind of statement from your 4 year old...but let's face it moms and dads...at 15 that same hand up in the air isn't quite so cute. Momma Nancy gave me some great advice when I was pregnant with Savannah. "Don't allow at 2 what you won't allow at 15." There's some truth to that. Chew on it for a minute.
5. Realize that God will take action when he has had enough. Oh He is so merciful to us, but there comes a time that when we have embraced lazy parenting, an undisciplined home, an unholy lifestyle, a disregard and lack of respect for HIM, that He moves on and gives those blessings to others...look at who the sons were replaced with...Samuel...a son that was given to Hannah, a barren wife, who was willing before the birth of her son to promise him back to the Lord, as His servant. Through Samuel, God blessed the nation of Israel. He left things better than they were before.
Parents...let's get it together. Let's quit making everything else more important than a relationship with the Lord and a holy life. Let's quite ignoring the warning signs from others and the Holy Spirit, when we sense our kids are in trouble. Let's raise respectful children who have been trained to listen to their father's (both earthly and heavenly) instruction. Because God forbid, that we don't leave this world better because our children are in it....God forbid, we send them to hell because we are more worried about social status, being their friend and how it looks to everyone else. God forbid. God forbid.
Let's change the story together...
Gina
Thanks for sharing Gina! Some things I needed to have impressed on my heart again. Things you know, but as life happens....you let them sit on the back burner. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteOh boy, do I know...definitely very motivating as I was reminded myself.
Delete