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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Is Your Religion Pure?

James 1:27- Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world


I have enough trouble coping with the schedules of my kids, a crazy dog and a preacher husband....there are piano lessons, Walmart trips, ballgames, school stuff, church activities and more...and without the help of my husband and the occasional rescue girlfriend who can help with a pickup or drop off...I would struggle...BIG.TIME.

So I can't imagine what the single parent goes through. Think about it...kid sick, flat tire, air-conditioning out, lawn needs to be mowed....whose shoulders does that fall on???

Nearly 1 in 4 children are being raised in single parent homes. Recently, I asked my single parent Facebook friends to respond with their greatest fears or worries in raising their kids.

Their responses were as follows:

* responded that they were worried about the lack of relationship between the father and his children.

* responded that they were concerned for the safety of their children when with the other parent.

* responded that they were worried that they would not be able to provide basic needs for their kids.

* responded fear about CPS stepping in at any time as a concern.

* confessed worrying about whether or not they were enough as a mom for her sons.

* was concerned that her sons would not know what it was like to be real man, a father in the future.

* responded with anxiousness about whether they would fulfill God's destiny, serve Jesus

* said they were worried they couldn't be everything their child needed them to be


In a world were 25% of homes are led by single parents, I wonder if there isn't something different that we could be doing to help meet some of these needs. And before someone says, well the root of this is unstable families, divorce, weak marriages...let me assure you, that after years of counseling to help preserve God's institute of Biblical marriage, I know that single parent homes are inevitable. There are so many reasons there are single parent homes...let me give you a few:

- infidelity, in all ways...physically, emotionally, mentally
- pornography (see above)
- abuse, in all ways
-unplanned pregnancy
-abandonment
-free will and choice
-disagreements
-death of a spouse

And I can assure you that most couples that give up on their marriage, had one person in that marriage that wanted to fight harder to save it, wanted it to make it, wanted restoration. But we all know, if both parties aren't willing to give it everything, restoration is impossible.

So this is a judgement free zone...because this isn't really about what the single parents are doing or causes for divorce.

It's about what we can do to help them do what they do.

I'm convinced that these hardworking parents could use someone to come along side and help in some tangible ways...and maybe if we start dialoging we can become part of a solution, a partnership with parents who are doing their best to provide in all ways for their kids...just like us. It's kind of our common denominator.

God's Word commands the church (Christians...doesn't matter your church affiliation...only your heart affiliation) to care for the widows and the fatherless....and I can't imagine that doesn't include the widowers and the motherless (James 1:27). God knew there would be situations where there would be single parents. He also made a way for their needs....all their needs...to be met. So what are we doing? What are we doing to meet the needs of the fatherless and the motherless children that we know? It's our responsibility. It's a command. If we don't do it, we are disobedient. We sin.

So after some research, a list has been compiled of some practical ways you and I can help the single parents we know (no doubt this list is not exhaustive, so if you want to add to it, leave a comment and let us know what you're doing or if you're a single parent and someone has done something that has helped...let us know!)

1. Pray for God to make you sensitive and unselfishly discerning of the needs of single parents. (Since He commands this...if we are sincere in our desire...He will show us...because He doesn't withhold himself from those who diligently seek Him)

2. Obey His command (here's a few ideas, just in case you need them)

* If you provide a service, let the parent know. Many times single parents feel lost when emergency situations arise, so if they have a list of reliable mechanics, air-conditioning repair services, pediatricians, nurse friends...then its less stressful for them. They aren't expecting a free handout (although...if you feel led, feel free), just less stress in finding someone trustworthy

*Provide a list of your favorite babysitters.

*Pay for their child to do something extracurricular. Maybe a kids camp, or an Upwards program, or an art camp, or piano lessons. While a single parent might never ask for a handout, their kids sometimes don't have the advantage of extra things because of finances.

*If you're an older person, partner with the single parent as an encourager, a mentor, a cheer leader. Invest in the hardworking adult.

*Send them a birthday card, a valentine, a Christmas gift. Chances are until their kids get older, someone will need to step it up if the parent will be remembered.

*Be a good role model....one of the chief concerns was from mothers who fear their sons will be lacking because of the lack of a father figure in the home. Could you spare some time or share some time with the son of a single mom? Some of these connections can happen with your own kids, just including another.

*Model good marriages. Let's face it...these marriages ended for a reason (some even death) and if we are going to manage to hold marriage in high esteem, we need to model good and godly marriages.

*Be excited about serving the Lord and others. Don't complain. If you serve them, don't act like its a bother. Serve with joy. Nobody likes a begrudging gift giver.

*Provide anonymously for school supplies, new school clothes, shoes, backpacks...another way those who have already raised their children can help. You remember how expensive it is to raise and provide for kids!

*Be a safe place for your single parents families to come to in a time of emergency. Let's face it, domestic violence, natural disasters, lightning storms and power outages happen. Sometimes these things are overwhelming and knowing you have a friend to go to is not only helpful to the children involved, but to the parent who may also be feeling anxious.

*Help when more than one of their children needs to be in one or more places.... transportation to and from activities can get hairy and sometimes a carpool situation can be a lifesaver.

*If the parent is widowed, provide a break, a few hours for him or her to run errands, change the oil, get nails done or TAKE A NAP.

*Encourage, high five and pray for these families. Can't hurt, can it?

Let's get behind these families and remember that God has a plan for them just like He does for your family. Sometimes we get so inwardly focused that we do nothing or we forget part of His plan doesn't include the welfare system or government to take care of them....but it does include the church caring for them. Let's get with His program and watch His plan unfold. Can you do something???

That's Their Story,

Single Parents from around the World



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